thisstableground:

philly-osopher:

a.k.a. Do No Harm if it were
actually a show I would watch, requested by @thisstableground​ in the meme
thingy I was doing

This was something swan and I came
up with because I, as a biology-person in Philadelphia, where DNH is “set,” was
outraged and perplexed by whatever the fuck the working environment/ general
structure of the hospital/ the fact that the writers gave zero shits about
medical or scientific accuracy/ have never seen a lab/ have in fact probably
never talked to a scientist/ have zero idea about actual psychiatric
conditions.

So this turned into my crack
conspiracy theory that the whole Jason/Ian multiple personality angle of the
show is in fact a plot by Big Pharma steal Dr. Ruben Marcado’s research.

Excerpt, somewhat de-chatficced (written by both swan and me) and condensed for
sanity reasons:

• this whole thing is a conspiracy to steal Ruben’s
      research
• he’s a chemist who doesn’t know medicine for shit, so
      he falls for the whole ridiculous Jason/ Ian thing easily
• the man INVENTED TWO NOVEL NEUROACTIVE DRUGS IN FIVE
      YEARS
      he is a one-man billion dollar pharmaceutical company
• for context most drug companies have stopped doing
      neuro research at ALL because it is so shitty
• okay so. ruben is a goddamn motherfucking einstein-level
      field-revolutionizing SAVANT
• who for some reason doesn’t seem to recognize this.
• but he’s a lonely guy. clearly, because he lets jason
      get away with treating him like shit all the time. and for some reason
      Pharma can’t go their normal route of hiring him to be on their staff.
• unclear why, because he’s trying to sell one of his
      drugs to a pharmaceutical company in the show and they’re only offering
      him a million dollars, which is insultingly low. but anyway. ruben’s not
      selling his drugs.
• maybe he tried marketing one early on and people had
      adverse reactions and it was Very Bad
• so now he sticks to the basic science side. he just
      uses his drugs as tools in the lab. yeah they have medical applications
      but he’s so scared of hurting someone, hence “do no harm” eh?
• so along comes this drug company. they’re read his
      papers. they desperately want their hands on his formulas but he’s not
      selling. they try hacking his computer but all his most important notes
      are pen and paper, physically locked in the lab, and security in this
      building is mega-tight because it’s a children’s hospital
• so they have to come up with another way. they’ve got
      to give ruben a reason to go forward with these potent antipsychotics he’s
      testing. they have to motivate him to try them in human patients. they’ve
      got to make this PERSONAL
• so they find a burned out med student. a guy who’s
      failed his boards, who is hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt, who’s
      desperate for money, and who, incidentally, has a background in theater.
      remember, ruben’s not a trained doctor. he knows organic synthesis and
      neuropharmacology

[at this point swan asked to recast
Jason/Ian as someone whose face she could stand to think about, and we decided
Riz Ahmed. But then after the conversation we decided to gender flip the whole
thing, and long story short we decided that Jason/ Ian is now played by Amal
Clooney even though she doesn’t act and Ruben is played by Gina Rodriguez. But
for right now it’s Riz and Lin.]

• the guy comes to him with this sob story about how he
      NEEDS this drug. he would be such a good surgeon, he would save SO MANY
      LIVES, if he could just have it!
• okay so this guy’s job is to get samples of the drug at
      all costs
• and if he doesn’t the debt collectors are gonna come
      break his legs
• so it’s not really *his* fault so much
• but first he befriends ruben
• they bond over people always mixing them up
• and ruben is so lonely. like, he works all the time and
      he stays away from all the docs because they Know His Failure and he still
      lives with his mom
• so having somebody come in with a lot of common
      interests and no prior knowledge of how bad he fucked up (in his mind) is
      huge for him
• the common interests are a nice coincidence, of course,
      but not so much of a coincidence when you remember they hacked his
      computer
• and gradually the friend opens up about the problems
      he’s been having
• heck, maybe he just fakes a “transformation” into his
      “evil alter ego” right in front of Ruben, really freaks him out
• either way, it becomes clear that his situation is
      desperate, and only ruben can help
• and from then on the guy is just trying to extract more
      and more sample of the drug from ruben without raising his suspicions that
      he’s from Big Pharma
• and i think that it actually would make sense plot-wise
      if Jason seduces Ruben in this
• he’s got to keep raising the stakes
• because that makes it so much harder for Ruben to say
      no if it’s his BOYFRIEND who needs help!
• he’s gotta keep Ruben Invested!
• basically in the show it’s already an abusive
      relationship so this is just taking it to an abusive partnership
• but what Jason DIDN’T count on……was developing
      feelings of his own
• it’s bad
• 😦
• he’s making increasingly desperate excuses to his
      bosses
• because he can’t bear to keep tormenting Ruben like
      this
• playing on his feelings
• physically threatening him while pretending to be a
      split version of his personality!
• Ruben always tearful and apologizing because he’s not
      working fast enough and he’s so sorry
• maybe the debt collectors come by to threaten him and
      Ruben is there or finds out
• and he has to make up some story about his split
      personality spending all his money
• Ruben offers him help
• hmm… at what point does Jason snap and tell Ruben
      everything so they can take on the pharma company together?
• hopefully soon, for the sake of poor Ruben’s peace of
      mind, and my own
• again, i know NOTHING about the show except the basic
      premise and Ruben
• i mean, naturally, after the truth comes out, they’d
      have to have an episode or two devoted to the break between ‘em
• get that angst, you know
• but Ruben comes back to Jason, because he has to get
      back at these people who were USING him, and Jason is his only in
• Ruben working even longer ridiculous marathon days
      because when he’s hallucinating about being in lab from lack of sleep
      (while he’s still in lab), at least he’s not thinking of Jason and how he
      played him like a fiddle
• maybe Big Pharma tries to break in again?
• maybe they try another way to push him, and Jason has
      to save him?
• their relationship is strictly business going forward,
      says Ruben. i can’t trust you like that. we’re clearing this up and then
      we’re done for good
• Right, yeah, obviously, i hurt you, says Jason
• like, after Jason delivers his report that he can’t do
      it, and is about to go on the run from the debt collectors, he realizes
      they’re going to come after Ruben the hard way next
• This is a working vengeance-based relationship (false)
• so when he goes in to save him it’s pure emotion, but
      he *says* all the vengeance stuff to get Ruben on board
• he’s still a really good liar, after all this
• but he swears to himself that’s the last time he’s
      going to lie to him
• after this he’ll leave him alone, but he just has to
      know he’s safe
• it’s his fault the pharma company is so hungry for
      Ruben’s formulas
• they didn’t even KNOW about the second drug til Jason
      told them
• presumably somewhere in here, there’s a reference to
      “lying’s the only thing i’ve ever REALLY been good at.” [rueful
      smile]
• and Jason has to be the ONLY one who can find him he
      just needs [x giant pile of resources]
• basically, a new passport, a pile of cash, plane
      tickets to Jamaica
• a way to a new life
• and after it’s done he gives them to Ruben
• people always did mix them up!
• although lbr Ruben might not be down for an extended
      tropical vacation
• but maybe he NEEDS one, yanno?
• and if his lab got trashed in some incident i’m sure
      he’s absolutely furious about, he’s got no reasons to stay in Philly while
      it’s being prepared
• i love this. like there’s your running gag throughout
      the first and into the second act of people mixing Ruben and Jason up
• but then it becomes PLOT-RELEVANT!!!

  …and that’s all I got the end!

hnekjhnnhdjkgn i’m going to jump into the fucking SUN because i NEED THIS. GOD poor sweet lonely ruben but i need all of this very much, and “change jason/ian to someone whose face i can stand to think about” is the Largest of Moods